Old Habits Die Hard

While this blog is a combination of mostly health and home,

 I want it to also be a place where I can share about what God is doing in my life.

Occasionally I may share a little more about me, and that is what today is all about.  

Warning - I am a total work in process!

I had tears in my eyes, while my heart poured out these words into my palm on February 1st.

Old Habits Die Hard

I sit on a path along the Portugal coast line.  The water is gorgeous and the sun shines with intensity.  While walking down to where I now rest, I came to the realization that today marks 21 days in Portugal.  I have always heard that it takes 21 days to create a new habit.  Maybe so.  But I don't like my new habit.  In fact deep down I didn't want a new habit.  I liked my old habits just fine, my life, my family, my friends, my work, my homey home, frankly there wasn't much I didn't like.  Life - not to sound cheesy - was good.  I considered it to be a blessed life.

But I did the thing that is so hard to do. I trusted God.  I told Him, that if He opened the door to an overseas transfer I would walk through it.  I wanted to support my man and the man upstairs.  Wow support, when it involves compromise, is really, really hard.  Like the kind of hard where I want to curl up in a ball.

A part of me didn't really think that God would put me through this kind of test.  I wanted to believe that the test would be having faith, not necessarily following through. I wasn't scared of a new experience, I just didn't want to let go of my life experience that I knew and loved.

So here I am.  Three weeks in Portugal.  Wondering why?  My life has turned upside down, and not in the way I wanted it to.  I don't know what God has in store for me here.  I am sad. I am bored. I am frustrated.

If I was already living in our house here would that make it better?  If I had my car would that help?  I am not even sure if those things would make a difference.  I think maybe, just maybe, that God moved me to a place over 5000 miles away, to increase my dependence on Him.  

Change is hard.